Monday, September 21, 2009

True ramblings of no concern

Its been a bit since I've posted anything. My first month as as prospect has been great. A real learning experience. Last weekend (not this passed but the one before) at the ACMC (Arizona Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs) which was clear out in AJ (Apache Junction) which just so happens to be on the complete other side of the valley. It was quite the humbling experience. All of these "outlaw clubs" or "1% clubs". There is a protocol, of course, much like any structured group. Much like the military or government. You follow a certain protocol, which includes how you act and what you say. All these clubs have the same structure. President, Vice President, etc. This I already knew, so it was not much of a surprise. I did trip over my words trying to speak to fast. You know what I found out, so did some of the patch holders. They are just as normal as you and I. Not that I expected any different, but quite a few have bad thoughts when the word "biker" comes to mind. The more I think on this, is the ignorance that others have of the unknown and seems to be a jealously of the kind of freedom and rebelliousness to stand up to those who most do not and tell them that they are wrong. Standing up for ones owns God given rights, not the ones that the government so called allows us. I felt very comfortable there. I was honestly looking for some type of law enforcement agency watching us. Its very sad that they feel they need to do that. I was able to be in the meeting for a bit, but could not hear anything they were saying and was quite disappointed. This meeting is all about bikers rights. Didn't last very long before all prospects and hang arounds got sent out of the meeting.

After we went to eat since a couple of us were getting sick from not eating. By this time it was 3:30pm. Our club and 3 others were hosting an event at a local bar. Since I'm a prospect I knew I was going to have to bust my ass, or that was at least what I expected. Turns out I ended up feeling like I had not done enough. Regardless it turned out to be a great event with a pretty good turn out.

So here I lay, a week away from my 2nd church. I still feel like a little kid waiting to open his presents on Christmas Eve. The excitement has still not worn off. It really takes a certain kind of person to go from prospect to patch holder. I look forward to the day I reach that goal.

Countdown is 10 days until Vegas Bikefest. I was fortunate enough to meet 4 Tweets on Saturday for lunch. It was a real pleasure. Jason, Kelly, Tony (and tell Becky as well if you read this) & Alex thank you. You have made my excitement jump way up. You are all very cool and I think we are going to have a great time.

I'm going to end this on a different note. A friend of mine from twitter recently lost a friend named Jock. It took everything I had to read that. I finally broke down and this is going to be a tough end to the post. See, a year and a half ago I had to put my baby to sleep. Before I had her I was never really a big fan of cats. She was a 6-7 year old American Shorthair cat. Her name was Arwen, which I was the elf princess from Lord of the Rings. I hope that writing this will help me vent this so that it doesn't hurt as much. It started out when I adopted her as a kitten. She was super cute. Right after I brought her home she got very sick. Since she was newly adopted we got the free vet visit and all the meds she needed. They said she had a very bad case of kennel cough. Getting her to take the meds, eat and drink was quite a choir. She really did not want any of it. I just continued to love her and also had to force meds as well as water. She got hungry and started eating and drinking on her own again. I had to nurse this little creature back to health. Ever since that her and I were inseparable. If I was laying down, she was laying on or next to me. Many nites she put me to sleep with the vibrating purrs while she was laying on my chest. I have never seen such personality or so much love out of an animal in my life. At that time I used to shave my head. I loved the feeling of her extremely rough tongue on my head so I always got her to lick my head and she did so quite often. Even in bed before I fell asleep. When it was time for me to come home from work, she used to pace the floor until I got there and said hi to her. Saying hi to her was not just simply talking to her. It was picking her up and holding her upside down like a baby while I pet her. This is not normal for cats and she was very trusting of me. As I said about a year and a half ago, she got really sick. I noticed right away. She wouldn't come to me, and was difficult even finding her in the house. I quickly took her in to the vet and they told me she was having kidney failure. Her kidneys were functioning normal strength but would not filter anything so all liquid would pretty much come out when she had to go to the litter box. I spend a couple thousand dollars talking to specialist and said there was really nothing that could be done except dialysis and would cost thousands. Every vet said I should let her die on her own terms or put her to sleep. I saw how she was acting. Even after getting a refresh of fluids she still more less wanted to be alone and die and I could not take it. I could not take seeing this poor little girl suffer. I made the most difficult decision of my entire life. Her life was in my hands and I hated the choices. This is my child! Animal or not! This isn't fair. I spend the entire day and nite holding her and petting her on my chest. The next morning I took her in to get her put to sleep. I feel like I killed my own flesh and blood and it still hurts me to this day. I did get her cremated so I could keep the ashes. Maybe it is a bit morbid, but I have her ashes and talk to her almost every day.


  1. Dude,

    I understand the deep sorrow of losing a pet and the pain you go through to make that decision.

    Hope your prospect period is successful. I am not cut out for the club life, but I respect those who make the grade and get the patch.

    Regardless of affiliation, ride free and live life on your own terms.

    You're good in my book, bro. -- Rainman

  2. My dear friend, I too have felt that pain. What a rare sight into your life. I had to put my pupster (Juliet, she was a pomeranian) to sleep on January 2, 2009. She was 10 years old but still a puppy at heart. It was the hardest thing that I ever had to do and the decision was made during a difficult time of my life, which only made things worse. But I could not have allowed her to go on in pain so I did what was best.
    As you know, I know have another pomeranian and sometimes can see Juliet in her in some of the things she does. They are in no way related BTW. My cat, who only knew Juliet and no other animal, had a very hard time dealing with it. She ignored me for weeks and was constantly looking around for Juliet.
    It wasn't until recently she began to act like her normal self...
    I'm going to stop rambling on now, but just wanted you to know that I understand what you went through.
    Having read your story has now inspired me to blog about mine. Since mine was so recent, I have yet to get it all out...
    Maybe this weekend is a good time to do it...

  3. Hi,
    I don't know about you, but I find writing...and now reading about the choices me, you and a host of others like us have been forced to make for our loved ones to be "healing".

    Yes, our four-legged family members. I say "forced"...not because it is something we do with guns to our heads, but rather because even though we realize as we watch our beloved pets grow older and infirm...we will one day make uncomfortable choices for him/her...we still hope our beautiful friend and family member will pass away peacefully...sleeping...without our having to make decisions regarding their last days.

    Some of us are lucky, we get up, spend a morning with our buddy...then we leave him/her to rest on their beds. And we discover later, they have moved on without us. I think I would rather that was the fate of my wasn't as you well know.

    I'm glad your writing about your beloved Kitty, and that PartyGurl has done so about her Juliet....and hopefully countless others will be inspired to speak in loving terms about their companions they miss...It's good to remember the loving ways of our friends, and the healing spirits they possessed. They healed us everyday, from the wounds of the world...they gave us something we one else could. I think they still do...even though they are not with us in physical form.

    Be well in your heart, friend...we will find our well loved and loving friends on the other side, waiting for us to join them...acting as our guides and our joyous friend...You kitty will be purring you into a restful peace like she has on so many previous evenings...her soft fur, her rough tongue, and her padding feet will be with you once more.

  4. Me too my friend... All pets go to heaven.
    It is all too often that there are pet owners that don't have your heart. Like you and Chess I just went thru it too.

    No words we speak will change your heart and that is a good thing.

    Bless you and your little Kitty.